My ode to the captain.
In response to the blog post "I have a boyfriend in the UK"
I have to step up and answer this and all the other comments. First off I will give MTgirl a nod for her very true theory of "Guys want sex. The end." But I will get to that in another moment.
I have two points to make: the first is pertinent to this conversation, and the second addresses a lot of recent blog posts on the "girls and dating" subject.
First, having been one of those idiotic females who has been in a long distance relationship, I will say that she was an idiot for not going out with you.
When a girl is in a long distance relationship, it is because she sincerely believes that her guy is the one true soul mate and if she "works through it" then she will be happy. Guys do this so they can string along several girls in several locations without having to break up with them. Either that or the boyfriend is a wimp who doesn't want to be the bad guy by breaking up with her. Moral of the story: break up with someone if the relationship is going long distance. Wish I hadn't waited so long; too bad I was an idealistic early twenty-something who thought that things would work out. When I finally got done with college and realized what a loser he was and how many wonderful guys like you that I shot down I could kill myself.
Second, I would like to put forth a dating theory. Let's describe the ten percent or so, the most attractive prospects in a dating pool, as "alphas." (This "attractiveness" is largely, but not entirely, based upon physical characteristics.) Alphas are the people who never lack for dates. Nearly all guys want to date an alpha girl, and nearly all girls want to date an alpha male. The actual percentage of people who are alphas is quite low. Most guys don't even notice girls who aren't alpha females and vice versa. Once you realize that you aren't an alpha, this is the first step towards dating enlightenment. The odds of attracting an alpha when you aren't one are pretty slim. So you should automatically rule out alphas as soon as you meet them. This will save you a lot of time and trouble. The next problem you have is even when you discount that group, the vast majority of people won't even give you a chance because all they want is an alpha. This is where popular problems would come in for me once I achieved this level of enlightenment. "I know that I am on the same level as him, in fact I am probably one of the best deals he will get, so why is he ignoring me and only talking to the pathetic flat-chested vapid alpha female over there? I mean, I am smart, curvy, have a degree in civil engineering and have my own home. What more do these guys want?" (As an aside I mean curvy, not fat, not chunky, not a few pounds too heavy, I mean curvy the way it should be meant.)
Anyhow, I just about fried my brains trying to get around that problem. So don't waste your time if they won't give you the time of day. So all I can say is dating sucks, it is hard and no fun until you find the right fit. Don't waste your time on people who aren't interested and who you aren't really interested in as well. That is why there are first and last dates. Also, think a little bit more about what attracts you to that person and what kind of people they attract. Are you attracted because they are an alpha? Are they not interested in you because you aren't an alpha? Don't ever let a girl give you crap by standing you up, and the same goes for you females. Move along, try not to be obsessed with just sex. Think about what you really want in someone of the opposite sex and work towards it.
Happy Ending! I did finally find the right guy. No he isn't perfect, I'm not perfect; but we are perfect for each other. And after having lived with 30 different female roommates, he is the best roommate yet.
I have to step up and answer this and all the other comments. First off I will give MTgirl a nod for her very true theory of "Guys want sex. The end." But I will get to that in another moment.
I have two points to make: the first is pertinent to this conversation, and the second addresses a lot of recent blog posts on the "girls and dating" subject.
First, having been one of those idiotic females who has been in a long distance relationship, I will say that she was an idiot for not going out with you.
When a girl is in a long distance relationship, it is because she sincerely believes that her guy is the one true soul mate and if she "works through it" then she will be happy. Guys do this so they can string along several girls in several locations without having to break up with them. Either that or the boyfriend is a wimp who doesn't want to be the bad guy by breaking up with her. Moral of the story: break up with someone if the relationship is going long distance. Wish I hadn't waited so long; too bad I was an idealistic early twenty-something who thought that things would work out. When I finally got done with college and realized what a loser he was and how many wonderful guys like you that I shot down I could kill myself.
Second, I would like to put forth a dating theory. Let's describe the ten percent or so, the most attractive prospects in a dating pool, as "alphas." (This "attractiveness" is largely, but not entirely, based upon physical characteristics.) Alphas are the people who never lack for dates. Nearly all guys want to date an alpha girl, and nearly all girls want to date an alpha male. The actual percentage of people who are alphas is quite low. Most guys don't even notice girls who aren't alpha females and vice versa. Once you realize that you aren't an alpha, this is the first step towards dating enlightenment. The odds of attracting an alpha when you aren't one are pretty slim. So you should automatically rule out alphas as soon as you meet them. This will save you a lot of time and trouble. The next problem you have is even when you discount that group, the vast majority of people won't even give you a chance because all they want is an alpha. This is where popular problems would come in for me once I achieved this level of enlightenment. "I know that I am on the same level as him, in fact I am probably one of the best deals he will get, so why is he ignoring me and only talking to the pathetic flat-chested vapid alpha female over there? I mean, I am smart, curvy, have a degree in civil engineering and have my own home. What more do these guys want?" (As an aside I mean curvy, not fat, not chunky, not a few pounds too heavy, I mean curvy the way it should be meant.)
Anyhow, I just about fried my brains trying to get around that problem. So don't waste your time if they won't give you the time of day. So all I can say is dating sucks, it is hard and no fun until you find the right fit. Don't waste your time on people who aren't interested and who you aren't really interested in as well. That is why there are first and last dates. Also, think a little bit more about what attracts you to that person and what kind of people they attract. Are you attracted because they are an alpha? Are they not interested in you because you aren't an alpha? Don't ever let a girl give you crap by standing you up, and the same goes for you females. Move along, try not to be obsessed with just sex. Think about what you really want in someone of the opposite sex and work towards it.
Happy Ending! I did finally find the right guy. No he isn't perfect, I'm not perfect; but we are perfect for each other. And after having lived with 30 different female roommates, he is the best roommate yet.
posted by Mrs. Bob at 9:38 PM
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